I Could Love You
by Kurt's Anatomy
Summary: "I could love you, Kurt. If you'd just let me. I could love you and I think that you could love me, too." Kurt shakes his head. "You're Finn Hudson. You could never love me." Freshman Year AU Kurt/Finn


I Could Love You

"**I could love you, Kurt. If you'd just let me. I could love you and I think that you could love me, too." Kurt shakes his head. "You're Finn Hudson. You could never love me." Freshman Year AU**

Chapter 1- Hands Touch, Eyes Meet

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I love the days when I walk the corridors of McKinley High like I'm sat on its throne. Sure, I guess I'm not the brightest stone in the box or whatever that saying is, but I definitely am well-liked and popular. And that is good enough for me, isn't it? It isn't like I have much of anything else going for me, now is it? I am just a freshman, which means that I only rule the lowerclassmen until I become a junior, and will foreseeably rule the upperclassmen with an iron fist. I think I'm a shoe-in to be the quarterback of the football team next year. There has _already _beentalk of the Cheerios giving their unanimous vote for me to be Prom King and Homecoming King. Honestly, I've never been able to understand what makes me so popular. Sure, I'm more than average-looking, I could concede that. I'm handsome, but conventionally so. I'm not very smart. But I am good at using words in the places where they should go…sometimes. Sometimes it's better if I put my foot in my mouth. I'm a half-decent football player and I'm awkwardly lanky. For some reason, people find this endearing and allow me to take the role of stereotypical high school heartthrob. But I'm not very interesting. I'm quite plain. Not like some of the other guys in my class. Like Puck is a badass, already, and he doesn't apologise for being a little shit most of the time. Mike Chang is a talented dancer and Kurt Hummel might just be the most interesting person in the country, though he would never be Prom King. Stereotypes and whatnot.

Oh yeah, another fact about me? I'm undoubtedly very, _very_, gay. Not like prissy and effeminate like Kurt, but straight up (no pun intended, I swear) devoted to the dick. I know that I'm gay, no questions asked and I have since I was 13. That was when Puck (claims to have) lost his virginity and told me all about it and nothing appealed to me. I looked it up and started watching some porn to try and get myself into it. I found the girls writhing all over the place rather repulsive, actually. They were making too much noise and it was awful to watch. Curious, I clicked on some gay porn and everything just clicked. I was always taught that boys should think that girls are pretty and that boys…well that they shouldn't think about boys like that at all. But I found myself interested. The only person besides me to know is Puck. Once he realised that I wasn't going to hit on him or peek at 'Puckzilla', he was surprisingly okay with it. He gives Kurt enough shit, so it was a shock.

Kurt.

So I might be just a little bit in love with Kurt Hummel. So what? Who are you to judge? You don't know me. Or Kurt. If you knew him, you would most definitely understand. Kurt Hummel is a God. He has an ass that should be acknowledged and worshipped by every single member of the human race, bar none. It does not help anything that he wears those completely unfair tight pants that just…ugh. They make me want to just come out of the closet already just so I can touch him…oh god wait that sounds so wrong. Let me rephrase. See, that sounded eloquent. Yeah, I know that word. Kurt taught it to me in English class one day. It's the only reason I remember it. So that I can use it in front of him and make him impressed. He quirks his eyebrow and nods approvingly whenever I say something smart.

But the thing is that he would probably never date me or whatever. He thinks I'm just like the rest of the jocks. In some ways, I am. I mean, I don't like fashion or wear colourful clothes like Kurt (although I do enjoy certain musicals- the badass ones like West Side Story and Chicago). I'm not an obvious gay. Kurt is, although he's not out yet. But neither am I. I sometimes wonder whether me coming out first might encourage him to follow suit. I can see it in his eyes whenever he says 'I'm not gay'. I know that look because I have the same one whenever my mom suspects anything.

She's great, amazing actually, but I'm scared shitless of what she might think of me after she knows. I presume she already knows but the confirmation is scary enough.

"FINN!" A loud, very annoying voice shakes me from my daydreams of Kurt. As soon as I hear it, I just _know_ who it belongs to.

"Yes, Rachel?" I barely keep my tone straight (yes another straight pun, deal with it).

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my house tonight. I mean, we're all brainstorming ideas for Glee Club's very first Invitationals since Mr Ryerson took over Rhythm Explosion, so it's all very exciting and I thought it would work better if we put my omniscient musical knowledge together with your…um…stuff and collaborate on a musical project. A duet that would blow the socks of that Kurt Hummel who thinks he can outshine me." Her mention of Kurt brings my attention to her. To his credit, Kurt _could_ outshine Rachel, although nobody else knows this. He has never sung a solo for Glee, but I've heard him practising some song about gravity and it was honestly beautiful. I was about to reveal myself, but he started crying and he looked super uncomfortable and I didn't want to intrude.

"Uh, I can't. I'm busy." I begin to walk away from the library, where I randomly happened to be, and groan as she follows me.

"But, Finn, I really think that this is important—."

"Rachel, I can't help that I have other plans, okay? Just drop it, I have French now." I head to French, which I usually despise but Mme Severone told us last class that we were getting new Speaking and Listening partners and I just hoped that mine would be Kurt. Just maybe we could strike up a conversation. We already did in English and I'm slowly getting around to charming him. I am pretty charming and Kurt is perfect.

What I think is a usual day turns out not to be so usual as my eyes feast upon the not so glorious sight that is now my shithole of a locker.

The colourful spray paint isn't the most eyecatching thing. It's my worst nightmare that lies within the writing.

One word. Three letters. No, this isn't a crossword puzzle. Just one simple word and my life explodes.

_FAG._

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**_Author's Note:_****I am sort of back. I haven't posted anything in a while regarding my other stories, but I am still thinking of them. I'm taking a little break to induct myself into my new college year which starts tomorrow btw (my sleeping pattern is screwed considering it's 5:36AM here and I've been up all night). So I wanted to post this to see whether I should continue. I've been literally obsessed with Kurt/Finn lately and wanted to try my own little project. It will be based around gay!Finn and gay!Kurt but Finn loves Kurt but not the other way around (not yet, at least). The chapters will be short installments but there will probably be a lot, if I take the route I'm thinking of. I know the ending may seem sporadic and quite rushed/sudden, but it's worth it. The next chapter is where everything starts and blows up. Oh yeah, also, Finn's not dumb here. He's more intelligent and speaks more eloquently but he still flunks a lot of his classes. Review if you think this is worth continuing. **


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